The Defiant Mom

You probably know it in your hearts. Let me just reminisce a bit more. You know you can’t be a CEO if you…   Took that much-needed maternity break for a year or erm…a couple of years, even more..?   Chose to put your baby before your professional growth Adjusted your life according to the needs of your child Cannot stay at work beyond 6pm Prefer not to work on weekends/holidays Are bent on maintaining a work-life balance Spend quantity and quality time with your little ‘un Believe in investing emotions and love Always take a backseat to let your better half reach higher goals for the sake of your family Are proud of the choices you make, including the aforementioned Seemingly mundane reasons whose value you understand well. Doesn’t the world seem better when you receive a warm hug when you reach home from work and when you get up in the morning? Turn on your side, cuddle your precious angel and sleep for a few more m...

You would like to be a cool mom and do everything an updated mother does. Well, you are already there but maybe, not in your mind.   1.      You are working hard, at home and at work, and see less of your precious one. You pride yourself on being able to spend ‘quality’ time with your child, whenever you can. But your child might be missing a huge part of you during his impressionable years. Can you… draw a line where you know that office work can be handled tomorrow or delegate it to your teammate? Again guilty, well, life is never easy but your child needs you now. 2.        You do not have any hobby and you are so boring, almost ‘aunty types’. You judge yourself every time another woman achieves a milestone. Have you… pampered yourself in a spa lately? You deserve it, believe me, either you are a stay-at-home-mom or a working mom, you exert yourself more than even you can imagine. 3. ...

Old habits die hard. We, as parents, forget to unlearn several life lessons. But is it really important to unlearn teachings we learnt the hard way? And how much of unlearning can parents do? The answer lies within us. The key is to have an open-mind and adapt to the situation. Some ways of parenting might work for some, while entirely the opposite might be the trick. Have you unlearned yet that… …you can’t tell your child that you will tell them about sex when they grow up? You have to answer them truthfully, giving as much information as they can digest at a given age. Whether they ask you at the tender age of six or at the impressionable age of ten, pitch in before someone else does. Because someone will, it’s not that generation where a look or two will shut the question away. And if you lie now, chances are you might lose their trust later. …your every act is observed keenly by your little angel? Every time you see your rock star dude doing something wrong, caution ...

It is said that learning has no age bar. And when a parent is a student too, parenting and learning become fun. I met with my childhood, so can you! Another milestone achieved! Till last week, I was struggling in the swimming pool, trying to reach the end of the pool while maintaining my balance. But today, I can proudly say that I have learnt swimming. I could not picture myself as a swimmer the day I started attending classes at the local club. But now, I am swimming from one end of the pool to the other. Though I still have to gather courage to dive and swim underwater but with my son helping me learn breathing, I think I hopefully will. Are you wondering why learning the sport at such a late stage in life? While I was growing up, we did not have swimming classes or clubs near where we lived. And then studies, marriage and motherhood happened. My hobbies always remained on the back burner. Bringing up my son, taking care of the family and then building a career soaked up my...

Is your child getting enough physical exercise? We all know how active kids are! They hate to sit still for long, at least most of them. Very few children do not want to run around the house or in the garden, and given a chance, they could do this the whole day. With the advent of entertainment in the form of television and video games, the level of physical activity has reduced immensely. This is a point of concern. What with malls, and pizzas and burgers, parents have a tough time keeping their kids interested in sports and other hobbies, and also keep them lean and active. There is pressure to finish their lessons and go to tuitions, and whatever time is left after that is dedicated to TV and video games. After all this, where will a child get time to play? I remember my parents used to forcibly shoo us off the house the moment the sun would dip around the horizon. Of course, I did not always like it because I wanted to keep reading and my sister didn’t want to miss her favou...

Indeed it is when you see your reflection in your children when they behave just like you. Isn’t it endearing to see your kid act just like you do, the way you eat, sleep, laugh, walk, and… talk! How do you feel when your child’s style of talking resembles yours? You feel proud that he/she is my son/daughter. I feel so happy when one of my friends or family compliments me saying, ‘Wow, Roohi, your son speaks exactly like you.” But what if your kid says something that you wouldn’t expect him/her to? Words than can embarrass you no end! This happens without fail; after all, kids learn through imitation. For most of their waking moments, they see us and observe our actions minutely. We may not realize this till we see them behaving the way we do. Sometimes this creates hilarious situations, while at others, it may leave us mortified. How do we control what we say and how we act… -If you are angry, and hurtful words are waiting to gush forth, bite your lips, literally, and look a...

Fathers need to be around their children How can fathers make the most of their time with their kids? It's not only the mothers but also the fathers whose lives change after they become parents. What with the increasing financial responsibilities, to be around their children and wives, dads can get pretty stressed. To top it all, they have to make sure that they make the most of their time with their kids! First things first, do not panic. List down the activities you can engage in with your kids (depending on their age) while you are with them. It can be anything from nappy changing, feeding, toilet training, putting them to sleep, teaching them to take their first steps to playing sports, reading, painting, etc, the list is endless. The objective is to be involved, give your full attention while you are with your children They are quite perceptive and your lack of concentration can be easily picked up by them and they might get irritable. Even if you get to spend 10 min...

This is not a tough task yet it requires patience. I will list down some dos and don'ts from my experience, please share yours. Never... 1. Make your kids watch TV while they are eating. 2. Force them to eat. 3. Scold them for not liking a particular food item. 4. Raise your voice if they throw tantrums on the dining table. 5. Cook on their demand every time, not when this becomes a habit and they refuse consistently to eat healthy food. Always... 1. Eat with them and enjoy the whole eating routine, each meal. 2. Serve them small portions, so they can taste everything, and get a balanced diet. 3. Keep the conversation at the dinner table centered on food and its benefits but don't overdo it. 4. Try using colorful vegetables and fruits, and preparing simple food in different ways. Yes, you will have to get little creative here. 5. Explain them the benefits of eating, how it develops their brain and body, and helps them become strong and intelligent...

Welcome back! Haw many times have you faced the situation when you have to witness your young one doing exactly the opposite of what you would want him/her to do? I am sure, countless times. This situation is so common that not much attention is paid by us. We think that it is okay if the child does what he/she is asked not to. I agree it is part of being a child but what I want to emphasize here is how we, as parents need to educate our children about things that they shouldn't do. The essence is in the approach. Before I get into the details, I would like to share what I feel as parents we need to learn first and foremost before we even start to expect from our kids. There are simple prerequisites of parenthood: 1. No parent is perfect, don't even try to get there. It's okay if you fail, you will gain something valuable out of it. Parents need to love and understand their children more than anything else. 2. Parenting can only be done by example. Y...

Welcome to my blog, 'A Different Approach to Parenting!' I wasn't really sure if I should have a blog on parenting, after all, the web is full of them. I didn't want to add to the clutter. But then, having learnt so many things while being a mom to a nine year old son, I wanted to share my learnings. So, here I am. I definitely have come a long way from being a headstrong, logical and ever questioning teenager to a woman who has to think hard to answer some of the tricky questions my son often comes up with. I find myself struggling to be honest while being sensitive to his age when I am answering the non-ending (and these days, quite tricky questions) shooting non-stop from my son's mouth. It's a task you all must face regularly too. Believe me, it's fun to unlearn so many things we grow up with. I have learnt newer stuff and seen things from a different perspective with my son. These I will be sharing with you here, and also my failures and successe...